Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Want cash? Bollywood tells you how!

Some lessons to be learnt here!
Prime Minister Modi's demonetisation has sent the entire nation scurrying to ATM machines and banks, trying to withdraw cash.
Waiting in serpentine queues, empty ATM machines and shortage of hard cash has become a familiar feature these days.
It's not a pleasant scenario for most Indians, but we decided to find some humour to keep us going.
Some filmi reactions to the money problems plaguing us these days:

 
You can't get sleep because all you can think is, 'How will I buy the groceries?'
 
When your friend calls and says there is money in the ATM.
 
When it's your turn at the bank.
 
And then, the ATM machine displays 'out of cash'.
 
When you're thrown out of a wedding for gifting the newlyweds an cash envelope containing Rs 1,000 notes.
 
'Ek hazaar ke note ka kimaat tum kya jaano, Modi babu?
 
The best time to score with the ladies -- just woo her with Rs 100 notes so that she follows you, and not the ATM queue.
 
When you have notes of Rs 500, but they're not worth more than pieces of paper.
 
Don't want to stand in line? Go to the nearest temple.
 
After hours of waiting in ATM queues, when you finally get cash!
Disclaimer: This is a satirical feature. Readers are requested to take the content with a pinch of salt.

Want cash? Bollywood tells you how!

Some lessons to be learnt here!
Prime Minister Modi's demonetisation has sent the entire nation scurrying to ATM machines and banks, trying to withdraw cash.
Waiting in serpentine queues, empty ATM machines and shortage of hard cash has become a familiar feature these days.
It's not a pleasant scenario for most Indians, but we decided to find some humour to keep us going.
Some filmi reactions to the money problems plaguing us these days:

 
You can't get sleep because all you can think is, 'How will I buy the groceries?'
 
When your friend calls and says there is money in the ATM.
 
When it's your turn at the bank.
 
And then, the ATM machine displays 'out of cash'.
 
When you're thrown out of a wedding for gifting the newlyweds an cash envelope containing Rs 1,000 notes.
 
'Ek hazaar ke note ka kimaat tum kya jaano, Modi babu?
 
The best time to score with the ladies -- just woo her with Rs 100 notes so that she follows you, and not the ATM queue.
 
When you have notes of Rs 500, but they're not worth more than pieces of paper.
 
Don't want to stand in line? Go to the nearest temple.
 
After hours of waiting in ATM queues, when you finally get cash!
Disclaimer: This is a satirical feature. Readers are requested to take the content with a pinch of salt.

WTF News! It's Weird, True and Funny

Here's your weekly digest of the craziest stories from around the world.
Meet ‘the world’s strongest bride’
For many brides, the most memorable part of their wedding might be walking down the aisle.
For one Taiwanese woman however, doing pull-ups in her wedding dress proved to be a dream moment.
Doreen Fu, 33, has been billed as ‘the world’s strongest bride’ after a video of her showing off her muscles became popular online.

Now serving, the ‘Sweety,’ a Nutella burger, at McDonald’s
McDonald’s Italy has added a new item to its menu: the Nutella burger.
The announcement of the “Sweety con Nutella” on the restaurant’s Italian Facebook page late last week caused an online frenzy.
Before panic could set in, it became clear that the “burger” is, in fact, meatless.
It consists of only a bun filled with Nutella.
The burger will cost two euros and be served at all 540 McDonald’s and McCafĂ©s in Italy, according to a press release.
“Sweety is the sweetest burger ever sold at McDonald’s,” read the press release.

You can’t tell this dog and owner apart
They say dogs are mans best friend -- and this couldn’t be truer for Topher Brophy and his loyal companion, Rosenberg. 
With their fashionably scruffy hair, and hazel eyes, the pair have more than just a passing resemblance to each other. 
After noticing their likeness, part-time artist Topher came up with the idea to dress himself and half-poodle, half-Australian Shepherd Rosenberg in a number of identical outfits and the Internet can’t handle how funny it is.
From cowboy costumes, tennis kits, police uniforms, camouflage gear, sailor outfits- you name it, the pair are sure to have tried it.

Reptile handler proposes to girlfriend while feeding crocodile
An Australian reptile handler proposed to his girlfriend while feeding an enormous 4.5-metre crocodile .
Billy Collett got down on one knee after inviting his partner Siobhan Oxley into the enclosure.
He had used a piece of meat to coax the crocodile named Elvis out of his pond before asking his girlfriend to “have a crack” at feeding the reptile.
But he left her shocked by suddenly announcing: “Three years ago, next week, I actually met the girl of my dreams. The girl I love more than anything.”
Billy then tells the crocodile to “stay there” and “behave yourself” before turning to his partner to propose.
He continued: “Siobhan, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?”
The reptile handler then joked that proposing was “worse than feeding a crocodile”.

‘Lucky chicken’ finds fame in Japan
A rooster has become an unlikely draw for visitors at a Japanese zoo after dodging death three times, earning him a reputation as a lucky bird.
The male chicken, named Masahiro, has become something of a local celebrity in Osaka, even serving as an honorary ‘chief’ of the local traffic police last month.
Masahiro was meant to become raccoon food at the city’s Tennoji Zoo, but was temporarily spared in order to help raise a parentless duckling. After a couple of months, his fate appeared sealed again - this time as live bait to attract a wild weasel that had been attacking birds at the zoo. When the weasel didn’t turn up, the rooster was earmarked as dinner for the lions and tigers but, his turn never came.

Now, a Quidditch Premier League in UK
If you've always wanted to play in a Quidditch team, your dream may be on the cusp of coming true following the announcement that a Premier League is starting in the UK.
Launching next summer, the league will be comprised of eight teams and will run from May to August.
With a Quidditch World Cup held in Frankfurt recently (the UK came third), 20,000 playing internationally and 25 competing countries this seemed like the logical next step for the sport inspired by the works of JK Rowling.

The Rs 500 crore big fat Reddy wedding

While people queue up in lines waiting for their chance to withdraw money after Prime Minister Narendra Modi demonetised the Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 notes, there is one family that seems to remain unaffected by it all.
In fact, he’s ensuring that nothing is too little for his daughter’s wedding.
The mining baron and former Karnataka minister, Gali Janardhana Reddy, has spared no expense or effort to make sure that his daughter Brahmini’s wedding is the biggest, fattest wedding that Bengaluru has ever witnessed.
In fact, remember he's the one who made one of the fanciest and most expensive cards -- all suited out with an LCD screening. 
Check out some of the images here. 
Brahmani Reddy will wed Rajeev Reddy on Tuesday in what is being billed as one of the most expensive weddings in India. 
For the wedding, Reddy has hired Bollywood set designers to come up with one of its kind mandaps and settings. The setting includes building King Krishnadevaraya’s palace, Lotus Mahal, Mahanavami Dibba, Vijaya Vittala Temple. 
The Bangalore Palace grounds, where the wedding is being held, has been transformed into a mini-town of Bellary with the focus on landmarks such as the Cowl Bazaar, Dhanappa Beedi street, the village in Bellary, and the school which Reddy studied in has also been recreated.
Horses, elephants, camels and chariots will lend even more pomp to the ceremony. 
Reddy’s childhood home ‘Hale Mane’ has also been recreated for the wedding. 
The wedding will see around 50,000 people including VIPs. Around 3,000 bouncers and 300 policemen have been deployed along with sniffer dogs and bomb squads for the wedding security. 
And if all that wasn't enough to blow your minds, reports state that Brahmini's wedding trousseau will comprise a Rs 17 crore saree, which she will wear on her wedding day. Accessorising it will be jewellery worth Rs 90 crore. 

Demonetisation: Cheaper loans likely

Will demonetisation lead to a rate cut, leading to higher quantum of lending?
Anup Roy finds out.
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
The jury may be still out on the effects of demonetisation, but a consensus is developing that it will bring down the interest rate.
Yields on the 10-year government bond, a benchmark of the prevalent rate in the economy, have fallen more than 25 basis points since Prime Minister Narendra Modi scrapped Rs 1,000 and Rs 500 notes on November 8.
Banks opened on November 10 amid chaos, as people rushed to branches to exchange old notes and to withdraw up to the then limit of Rs 4,000 (It has since been increased to Rs 4,500).
The rest of the old notes will go directly to the banks as low-interest-earning current and savings account deposits.
The high-value notes made up Rs 14.1 lakh crore of the cash in circulation.
If a substantial portion of that comes back to the banks, there will be a massive spike in deposit base.
This will bring down the cost of funds for banks.
The lenders are trying to figure out where to put the cash.
Therefore, the deposits are being invested in bonds, leading to a spike in the prices of the papers.
Bond yields and bank lending rates have a direct relationship.
After the new methodology of lending rate calculation came in, any incremental drop in cost of funds, including through the fixed income route, has to be passed onto the customers.
'This durable increase in the deposit base will create more demand for government bonds and other high-rated bonds in an environment of tepid credit demand,' Fitch said in a statement.
'Additionally, benign retail inflation trajectory will aid investors' appetite for bonds,' Fitch noted.
As bond prices rise, yields fall.
Yields on the 10-year bonds had closed at 6.798 per cent on November 8, before the prime minister announced demonetisation. The yields closed at 6.53 per cent on Tuesday (November 15), falling 26 basis points.
Since the start of the month, yields have fallen 28.5 basis points. One basis point is 0.01 percentage point.
High-value notes made up Rs 14.1 lakh crore of the cash in circulation.
India seems to be the only major economy that is bucking a global bearish bond trend.
Rate cuts by banks could be as much as a full percentage point.
Banks have parked more than Rs 80,000 crore with the RBI in the past few days through various liquidity operations windows.
Interestingly, India seems to be the only major economy that is bucking a global bearish bond trend.
Since the start of the month, yields on German bunds have risen 12.50 basis points, on US 10-year bonds have risen 38.44 bps, on Turkey's bills have gone up 82.50 bps.
Yields on other emerging market bonds have shot up by at least 30 basis points.
The liquidity flush might force the Reserve Bank of India to sell bonds in the secondary market, so that liquidity can be absorbed.
This is the opposite of what the central bank has been doing so far.
To infuse durable liquidity into the banking system, the RBI had bought Rs 2 lakh crore of bonds from the secondary market in the past one year.
'The initial increase in banking system liquidity is likely to be so substantial that the RBI will have to resort to measures to mop-up of liquidity beyond its usual tool chest of daily- and term-reverse repos (both fixed and variable),' a Nomura report said.
'In fact, we do not rule out open market operation sales, possibly in short-term bonds,' the Nomura report added.
On a daily basis, banks have parked more than Rs 80,000 crore (Rs 800 billion) with the RBI in the past few days through various liquidity operations windows.
The liquidity conditions will also force the banks to lower rates.
State Bank of India Chairman Arundhati Bhattacharya told Business Standard in an interview that her bank's margins would come under pressure due to the demonetisationexercise.
K V Kamath -- chairman of the BRICS countries' New Development Bank and former ICICI Bank CEO -- said in a television interview the rate cuts by banks could be as much as a full percentage point.
But will the lending rate cut translate into higher quantum of lending? Unlikely, said rating agency ICRA Ltd.
"Higher bank deposit mobilisation is unlikely to have a commensurate impact on lending in the near term, despite our expectation of some transmission to lower lending rates," said Karthik Srinivasan, co-head, financial sector ratings, ICRA.
The money might continue to be invested in bonds and the yields would continue to fall, taking interest rates of banks with them.

196 countries in 2 years: Will Cassie make a world record?

One look at her Instagram page and you're sure to go green with envy!
Cassie De Pecol, who was raised in rural Washington, Connecticut, USA is one lucky woman. At the age of 27 she has already travelled to 181 countries across the world. 
Her aim: To cover all 196 countries by the year end. Her mission is called Expedition 196. 
The good news is that she's expected to complete her mission in less than two months from now! And if she does it, Cassie will be the first documented woman to travel to all Sovereign nations. She will also be the fastest person to travel to all 196 Nations in less than three years and three months.
Thrilling isn't it?
The 27-year-old, who is travelling as a 'Global Citizen' and IIPT Peace Ambassador while advocating World Peace to Skal leaders and students, started on the expedition in 2015. 
She reportedly told the media, "As a young woman, I'd always dream to travel to as many countries as possible and make our world a better place."
Cassie is filming her journey for a documentary. The cost of her travel so far has been around $2,09,060, most of which is being raised through sponsorship. She has been getting free accommodation in exchange of social media posts. 
Here's what her projected route (given below) was at the start of the expedition.
Expedition 196 
Take a look at her incredible journey through her Instagram pics :)
Cassie
IMAGE: That's Cassie with her bags all packed, ready to head out on her incredible journey.

All photographs: Kind Courtesy Expedition_196/Instagram
Cassie's passports
IMAGE: Take a look at her passports! 
Cassie
IMAGE: Cassie soaking in the beauty of Odessa, Ukraine -- one of her favourite cities on the expedition.
Cassie's Expedition 196
IMAGE: 'I really don't know how much more beautiful this scene could get here at #Plitvice Lakes in #Croatia,' she captioned this pic. 
Expedition 196
IMAGE: Cassie is all smiles as she poses with the Tiger's Nest in Bhutan in the background. 
Cassie
IMAGE: She's having a blast skiing in Colarado. 
Expedition 196
IMAGE: Cassie at the Bryce Canyon in Utah with its crimson-colour rock formations. 
Expedition 196
IMAGE: The Milky Way, Palau makes for a stunning location. Cassie also had a mud bath in the blue waters of the Palau. 
Cassie
IMAGE: She can't stop raving on Instagram about this successful selfie she took at Lake Bled, Slovenia, without rolling off the boat. 
Cassie
IMAGE: She goes click, click, click at Theth, a village in Albania's Shkodra region. 
Expedition 196
IMAGE: At the Church of Saint John the Baptist at Chesme Palace, Russia. It looks like it has been made of candy canes :)
Expedition 196
IMAGE: That's her at Iceland. 'The sun rose at 11:30 am and set at 3:30,' she wrote along with this pic. 
Expedition 196
IMAGE: 'The things I've learned in my travels to over 85 countries across 6 continents in my life, have opened up my eyes to an educational experience that college never exposed me to,' she captioned this pic of her at Panama. 
Expedition 196
IM

Kohli on demonetisation: 'Greatest move in the history of Indian politics'

'For me, it's the greatest move I have seen in the history of Indian politics by far, hands down.'
Virat Kohli
India's Test skipper Virat Kohli described Modi government's demonetisation move as the greatest in the country's political history.

"For me, it's the greatest move I have seen in the history of Indian politics by far, hands down. I have been so impressed by it. It is unbelievable," Kohli said on Wednesday, on the eve of the second Test against England in Visakhapatnam.

With Indian Government's move to withdraw Rs 500 and Rs 1000 currency notes from circulation in a bid to flush out money hidden from the tax man, Kohli said he could now put his autograph on them and distribute to his fans.

"I was taking out my old money while paying my hotel bill in Rajkot. I forgot that it's not of any use anymore. I could have actually signed on it and given it to people. It's that useless now," he said on a lighter note.

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